The money talk: 4 tips to help You get comfortable negotiating your pay

How long have you been at your current job? How much new work and how many new responsibilities have you taken on since you’ve started? Have you asked for a raise yet?

I would not be surprised if you haven’t. In 2020 Randstad reported that 57% of women vs 51% of men have never negotiated their pay, and many prefer to quit their job in order to get a raise through a new job search.

So why don’t we ask? Sure, talking about money is very uncomfortable. Asking for a raise is considered one of the most uncomfortable conversations. But remember asking for a raise is good for your pocket and shows you know your worth and the value you bring to the organization. Ready to take that next step but don’t know where to start? Here are a few practices I would recommend to help you make your move:

Come prepared: Make a list of your skills, current tasks, a comparison of your salary against the market. If you have friends in the industry or similar roles, ask what their workload is like and their salary if they’re comfortable sharing. Use all the resources at your disposal to prepare you for your meeting and know what you want and why you want it. 

Negotiating is often about convincing the other party why your ask is also good for them. It costs an average of 33% of an employee’s salary to train a new employee for the role. It saves the company money to keep an experienced employee happy in their position - use this knowledge to your advantage. 

Envision your desired outcome: It may seem silly but take a moment to play out how the meeting will go beforehand. Visualization is a powerful tool and can help you feel more relaxed and comfortable during your negotiations. Think of all the questions you will ask; how do you want to be perceived? What roadblocks and objections may come up? How would you feel if they said no? These are essential factors in your boss’ or manager’s decision, so make sure you’re prepared for as many scenarios as possible.

Take control of the meeting: Schedule the meeting yourself, don’t wait for a great time to ask — there’s never a great time. Then, when the discussion comes, clearly outline your points and the number you would like. After the meeting is complete, send a short note thanking your Manager for their time and a summary of the “raise discussion”. This documents that this discussion happened. Then follow up regularly to monitor the status of your raise. It can sometimes take weeks, even months, to process a pay raise, so be diligent with your follow-ups. 

What happens if it doesn’t go as you expect or dealing with “no” or “not yet”

As with all risks, there is a chance that you will not get the outcome you desired. Maybe they counter with a lower number; perhaps they feel you are already fairly paid, need to develop additional skills or don’t hear you out at all. It is essential to remember that you still have options no matter the result. 

I’ve seen people accept what they have because they feel like they have no other option — they only feel they are capable of staying in this one job and nothing else, which is very untrue. So if you don’t get the raise this time, try this:

Don’t feel bad about a rejection: If asking for a raise was easy, everyone would do it. Remember that you put yourself out there, which should make you very proud. Remind yourself that their decision does not reflect on you and that you are a strong individual who will continue to try different things. 

Ask when it will be a better time: If they counter with “now is not a good time for a raise,” ask them when would be a better time and schedule a new meeting. COVID has been challenging for businesses. If your boss asks for more time before giving you a raise, you could graciously agree, but stay on top of your request. If you need additional skills or experience, think about a plan to get those.

Start looking for other opportunities: Take that lovely list of skills you compiled before you asked for a raise and apply it while you’re looking for a new opportunity. You would be surprised how the many skills you’ve picked up in your career can apply to a vast array of industries. Do you need to be interviewing right away? Maybe not, but it’s always wise to keep an eye on what jobs are out there and how you can find new ways to grow and learn. 

Maintain and use your professional network: Many people don’t understand the importance of developing and maintaining their professional network. Whether it’s for advice on a thorny issue or learning about job opportunities before they are advertised, your network is an invaluable resource. You will hear about new jobs through your contacts, and one day, you may decide to explore such an opportunity more seriously.

Learning to speak up for yourself can be a daunting task but it's worthwhile. These moments, though uncomfortable, can be incredible learning opportunities. They can teach you a lot about standing up for yourself and opening doors for future moves, no matter the outcome. 

Do you have other tips for asking for a raise that you think should be included here? Please share in the comments below.